By Mrs. Bentham
The prince rode hard, squinting against the dust and rays of sun blinding him. It had been a long journey, but the end was in sight. Three years ago he had set out from his homeland because of the promise of a treasure greater than he had ever imagined. Now that treasure was within reach.
The tower was silhouetted starkly against the grey clouds. The prince was overjoyed; finally, he had almost reached his destination! He spurred his tiring horse, urging him to move more quickly toward their goal.
He dismounted hastily, scarcely bothering to tie up the horse. He tore open the door, ignoring the groaning hinges, and propelled himself urgently up the spiralling stairway. So close – he was so close!
There she was! The most beautiful woman in the world!
“At last I have found you!” the prince cried, his eyes brimming with emotion.
The princess looked the prince up and down. “And why do I need to be found?” she sneered.
“Why . . . aren’t you a damsel in distress?” he stammered.
She choked back a laugh. “Are you for real?”
“Yes.”
“And you seriously expect me to be happy that you burst into my home without invitation, probably breaking my antique door in the process, and came in here like some . . . medieval buffoon?” she laughed. “What century do you live in?”
The prince stared blankly at the princess. When his parents sent him on this quest three years ago, they had promised him the most beautiful wife the world had ever seen. They had urged him to woo her to unite the two kingdoms. They had failed to mention that she was a feminist.
The princess eyed the prince coldly. When her parents sent her to this tower three years ago, they had promised her a better future. They had urged her to accept her suitor to unite the two kingdoms. They had failed to mention that the suitor believed he was saving her.
The princess had not been raised entirely without manners. She softened visibly, and invited the bewildered prince to sit down.
“Let’s talk about this calmly,” she said. “I apologize for the cold reception; it’s just not every day someone bursts into my home. You startled me. Usually I get monthly visits from home bringing me supplies.”
The prince stared around him. The tower was lavishly furnished with everything a princess could want. He suddenly felt embarrassed. Maybe he wasn’t rescuing someone. He felt more like he was breaking and entering.
The princess smiled gently at the silent prince. Immediately he could see why she was the most beautiful woman in the world: she was radiant. That made him feel worse, and he couldn’t think of a thing to say.
“Well,” said the princess, “maybe we should look at this logically. Our parents have put us through this charade in order to unite our kingdoms, although why they did not choose a more conventional method of betrothal I will never know. There are certainly economic and political reasons for the kingdoms to unite, don’t you agree?”
“Guh?” said the prince. “I mean . . . uh . . . guh-reat idea!”
“What?”
“I mean . . . ahem!” The prince stalled for time. He had not been listening to her discourse so much as looking deeply into her eyes. “I agree!”
“With what?” the princess asked skeptically. “Here I am trying to figure out this situation logically and you don’t even have the decency to listen!”
“Listen. I’ve been on the road for three years. I’ve been away from my home for so long that I don’t know if anyone will recognize me when I return. I came expecting . . . I don’t know, something else, and you haven’t exactly been welcoming. Give me a break.”
“I will certainly give you a break,” the princess said haughtily. “I didn’t ask you to come here in the first place!”
“Listen lady –” were the last words the prince uttered before he was none-too-gently shown the door. After his ears stopped ringing from the slamming of the door, the prince found himself face-to-face with his horse.
“Women,” he muttered as he remounted and rode away toward home.
